5 Things To Remember When You Have to Say Goodbye (Again)

Hi friends! I’m finally back from my unplanned hiatus!

I’ve been back in the States for a few weeks working on getting my drivers license, and while I wasn’t planning to be away from my blog for that long, I realized after the first week that I really needed a longer break. And I’m really glad I did, because now I’ve come back feeling more excited about blogging than I have been in a long time, and brimming with ideas that I can’t wait to share with you all!

Goodbyes have been on my mind a lot lately. Four months ago, my family packed up and moved several hours away from our home for the past eight years. We left our dear church family and many friends.

I recently had to say more goodbyes when we were in the States. Even though I was only there for three weeks, it was still painful to have to hug my aunts and uncle and cousins and so many sweet friends goodbye, knowing that I won’t see them again for at least another year.

We’ve all had to say goodbye at least once in our lifetime. Whether you’ve moved away, or a friend has moved away, or a family member has left on a long trip, we’ve all experienced the painfulness of distance from those we love.

For MKs, goodbyes go to a whole new level. We’re often separated from our family and friends by thousands of miles for years at a time. We can’t just hop on a plane and visit whenever we feel like it. For us, goodbyes are often final–kind of like writing The End on a chapter of our lives and pushing us on to a new one.

It’s easy to become bitter or want to push everyone away when you have to say goodbye so often. But while goodbyes are hard and painful, they aren’t necessarily bad. Today, dear TCK reader, I want to share with you five truths to remember next time you have to say goodbye.

1. Saying goodbye will never get easier, and that’s ok.

That may seem like a very unhelpful thing to say to someone who has to do it over and over again, but if you think about it, it’s actually very freeing to simply acknowledge this.

Because we have to say goodbye so often, we tend to think that we should be used to it since it’s a “normal” part of our lives. That’s just not true. God made us to be relational beings. We need other people. It’s normal to feel pain when you have to say goodbye, even if you’ve done it many times before.

And it’s ok to tell people that. Let your parents and your friends know that it’s hard. You don’t have to act like you have it all together. It’s ok for goodbyes to be hard. They aren’t meant to be easy.

2. Saying goodbye is a blessing.

I know, I know. How can goodbyes be both hard and a blessing?

It sounds like a contradiction, but it’s true. It’s the painful part of goodbyes that makes them a blessing.

Think about it. The more goodbyes you have to say, the more friendships God has given you. Each new goodbye means one more person God has allowed to impact your life for good. And that is a good thing.

Many people don’t have anyone they can say goodbye to. They might live all alone, their friends and family may have abandoned them, or they might be the last of their family alive.

So next time you have to say goodbye, see it as a blessing that you have someone to say goodbye to at all–someone you will remember fondly and whom you can look forward to seeing next time.

3. Saying goodbye makes us appreciate our loved ones more.

We tend to take the people we see day in and day out for granted, don’t we? Our parents and siblings are the biggest example of that. When was the last time you thought, “I should spend some quality time with my sister today because I don’t know the next time I’ll see her”? Probably not very often, if ever. We don’t think that because we know they’ll always be there.

But when we know we’ll only get to see a loved one so often, we tend to hold them a little closer. We take advantage of every moment with them. We appreciate them more. The saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder” really is true when it comes to friendships.

So next time you have a goodbye looming over you, let it motivate you to spend more quality time with that friend or family member. And don’t forget to let them know how much they mean to you.

4. Saying goodbye reminds us of the brokenness of this life, the promises of heaven, and the unchanging, ever-present nature of Jesus.

This is by far the most important, and the most beautiful, truth of all.

Goodbyes remind us of how temporary this life is. Friendships don’t last, people change, and eventually, we will all die. This life is passing, like the blink of an eye in eternity, and it is broken.

But that’s a good thing because it keeps our eyes on what’s really important. On the cross. On eternity. On heaven, where there will be no more sorrow or tears. And on Jesus.

More than anything, goodbyes should draw us closer to the one Friend who will never leave us and will never change. We never have to say goodbye to Jesus. “I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world,” He promises (Matt. 28:20). He is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Heb. 13:8). We can trust Him to always be there for us, to never fail us, and never move on from us. He is the very best Friend we could ever have.

Next time you feel the ache in your heart for that friend or family member many miles away, bring it to Jesus. Let Him comfort you and draw you closer to Him.

5. Saying goodbye gives us opportunity to grow.

Just like every other valley in our lives, goodbyes are yet another opportunity to grow.

Saying goodbye is a reality that, as TCKs, we can’t get away from. It’s not a choice we can make. But what we can choose is what to do with it. We can let our sadness and pain fester inside of us, making us cold, bitter, and reclusive. Or we can let Jesus take our pain and weave it into a masterpiece.

We can choose to see goodbyes as a blessing. We can choose to see it as an opportunity to love our friends and family better. We can allow the goodbyes to change us into wiser, kinder, more mature, more empathetic people. We can draw closer to God in the process, choosing to believe He has a plan in all of this.

Because that’s what God does best, dear friend. His specialty is bringing light into the darkness. Making the broken whole. Creating beauty out of ugliness. And bringing life out of the ashes.

This is your time to show the world that there is more than the brokenness of the now. This is your time to share Christ, the Friend who will never forsake us. This is your moment to share the peace we can have through His sacrifice, friend. Shine bright for Him.

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Have you ever had to say goodbye before? How were you able to deal with it? What has God taught you through it?